A clear, snowy day

This is your life and your holiday experience. You get to design it, enjoy savor it, and exercise the power of loving yourself, and the holidays are no different.

Try out 8 embodied ways you can love and take good care yourself through the holidays:

1. Align Yourself to Your Desired State of Being

What would you like to feel this holiday season? Would you like to be in a state of ease, joy, calmness, frenzy, business, or anxiety? Align yourself to that state of being you desire. Here’s a meditation (Re-Source Your Desire) that can help you get in sync with yourself.

2. Design Your Holiday Season

Take yourself off of autopilot and be proactive about how you want to spend your time this year. If you could do anything you wanted, without any consequences or others’ hurt feelings, what would you do? How much of that would you like to go for? Being honest and assertive about what feels enlivening for you is the best for all involved, even if others may be initially disappointed. Are you doing things because you think you should or feel obligated to? Or because this is what you’ve always done? The colleague at the networking event or the friends at the holiday party won’t feel an inspired and enjoyable connection if you’re going out of fear that you will miss out or because you feel an obligation. Do things because you WANT to and prioritize your enjoyment. Design what you’d like instead of letting the holidays run you.

3. Balance Giving and Receiving

Check in to see if you’re really available and present to give or if what you really need in the moment is to nourish yourself or receive. Allow yourself to receive without shame or guilt! Your body, emotions and intuition are your best cues to tell you what is truly best for you in each moment. Respect others’ autonomy and empowerment to take care of themselves as well.

3. Give Yourself Permission to Be Unavailable

You don’t need to return every call or be at every party. Take care of your energy and focus it on the places you value most at this time. Share your gratitude for someone’s reaching out or invite and let them know you won’t be able to make it or talk, etc. Respond when you want to – your time and space is yours.

5. Attune to Pleasure and Joy

Find the pleasure in the moment or create your pleasure. Whether that’s by looking at something that is pleasing to your eyes and being, savoring the taste of your tea, leaning into a lovely conversation, or making your body more comfortable in the moment with pillows or blankets. Let your focus go on the things you appreciate about each moment.

6. Love Your Inner Child

When you feel triggered by an old family pattern or experience that pulls you right into “being 5 years old” again, give your younger self the loving support that you need. Better yet, hold their hand as you walk in the door if you know there are certain situations that make you feel more vulnerable or where you’re not yet disconnected from the dynamic. Our younger parts can still desire something from the ones that we love, especially our parents or those we relied on before for safety and it can be upsetting if nothing has changed. But you can turn your inner child towards yourself instead – disconnect from the previous dependency and give your younger self the safety, assurance, empathy, affection, presence, and attunement that they are needing now or have always needed. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself if you do get triggered by a situation and gracefully take a break if you can – picture your sweet little one that wants and give this little one what they ache for.

7. Support Your Body

Move your body the way that it likes whether that’s through walking, sports, dance, yoga, free movement, exercise, etc. Do some self-touch (Supportive Self Touch) that helps your body and nervous system to feel grounded and present. Do this Marma Point (Heart 7 — shown on picture) for releasing anxiety and emotions, calming, better sleep, and grounding.

8. Take a Break

Don’t be afraid to go away for some time wherever you are and whoever you are with. Take time in a quiet room or in the bathroom. Have a breather even in your car or out for a quick walk.

Your Experience is Your Responsibility

You are the only one that can truly take charge of your experience and enjoyment. Shift yourself out of autopilot and into the presence that gives you the power to love yourself through each moment and through the holiday season. Lots of love and gentleness to you as you find your way towards more of your own enjoyment.