Articles and News

Estimated: 4 minutes to read

Sex…How Much is Enough?

So often in my practice I hear complaints about differing levels of libido in partners.  One partner has more interest and desire than the other. What to do? I have to say that frequently I don’t have the answer. That is, I think to myself, “Ok, you want to have a lot of sex and you don’t. I guess […] Read more “Sex…How Much is Enough?”

Estimated: 4 minutes to read

The Right To Be

I have a wonderful book called, Growing Up Again: Parenting Ourselves, Parenting our Children, by Jean Illsley Clarke and Connie Dawson. As a mother of two, I often reference this book to remind myself of the developmental tasks of each age, and some typical behaviors which come with different stages of life.  To know that […] Read more “The Right To Be”

Estimated: 4 minutes to read

Death and Grief

I’ve noticed that the subject of death comes up often, talking with people, both professionally and personally.  Quite a few people I know have lost a family member in the last year and many others still feel the pain of losses that may have happened years ago. There is a lot of information published on […] Read more “Death and Grief”

Estimated: 4 minutes to read

Expanding the Boundaries: Polyamory & Non-traditional Family Forms

Last weekend, I attended the 35th Annual Meeting of AFTA (American Family Therapy Academy), in Chicago.  The conference, entitled “Coupling Today: Love, Parenting, Community,” included many excellent presentations and opportunities to learn from colleagues. I was pleased and surprised to find the topic of non-monogamy well-represented in the Saturday plenary, Monogamy & Nonmonogamy: Commitments, Variations […] Read more “Expanding the Boundaries: Polyamory & Non-traditional Family Forms”

Estimated: 2 minutes to read

Longing for Belonging

On Saturday, March 30, the Chicago Polyamory Support Group met. Into its 4th year, the group has welcomed hundreds of people through its doors. Being an open support group, anyone can come at any time. Each month a topic is selected and each time the discussion flows — both on and off topic as the […] Read more “Longing for Belonging”

Estimated: 3 minutes to read

Raising Children

Raising children is a tough job, which takes a lot of skill, patience and humor to get through on a daily basis.  It is no wonder parents need time to talk with each other, to read books, to write blogs, read blogs about their experiences of what works and what doesn’t work, and to think […] Read more “Raising Children”

Estimated: 2 minutes to read

How to Mother Me?

I first became interested in Abby Seixas’ women’s groups, based on her book Finding the Deep River Within: A Woman’s Guide to Recovering Balance and Meaning in Everyday Life, after I had my 2nd child and felt a little like life was not my own anymore. Life was busy.  There was always something to do […] Read more “How to Mother Me?”

Estimated: 2 minutes to read

I Smile

I’ve been thinking lately about how much we all experience pain and suffering. Not exactly an uplifting thought, I admit. Yet, when I think about being human, I think that throughout all time, every one of us endures suffering, some more, some less. What a condition, this human one is! A moment ago, a new client […] Read more “I Smile”

Estimated: 3 minutes to read

Anxiety and Fear: What-if?

Do you ever find yourself thinking in endless cycles about possible scenarios?  Do you find it distressing?  Or maybe you aren’t even aware of it in the moment, and then suddenly realize 15 minutes (or more) have gone by and you’ve been stuck in these circling thoughts.  The irony of  the “what if” is that […] Read more “Anxiety and Fear: What-if?”

Estimated: 2 minutes to read

Polyamory and Marginalization

What is marginalization? Have I ever been marginalized?  And, how would I know if I had been? Do you often feel different from others?  Like you don’t quite fit in?  While some feelings of not fitting in may be related to your personal psychology, some of these feelings can come from the world around you. […] Read more “Polyamory and Marginalization”

Estimated: 2 minutes to read

Betrayal and Trust

A topic that rears its head from time to time in many polyamorous relationships, and monogamous ones as well, is the issue of trust and betrayal. It seems that most of us have experienced betrayal at some time in our lives…could have been a parent who didn’t keep their word to do something promised, or a friend […] Read more “Betrayal and Trust”

Estimated: 4 minutes to read

What’s Your Story?

“Story.”  What comes to mind when you hear that word?  Dictionary.com defines the word “story” as:  “a narrative, either true or fictitious, in prose or verse, designed to interest, amuse, or instruct the hearer or reader; tale.” Let’s unpack that definition a bit.  The first thing is “true or fictitious.”  We all have our own […] Read more “What’s Your Story?”

Estimated: 5 minutes to read

Art and Psychotherapy Connected

Have you ever felt stuck in life or in therapy?  If you are an artist, do you ever feel bored by your own work, as though the creative well had dried up?  It seems to me there are many things that are unknown or maybe unknowable about the creative process. We tap into the creative […] Read more “Art and Psychotherapy Connected”

Estimated: 5 minutes to read

Beyond Identity: Identity and Aging

Lately, I have been thinking a great deal about identity and aging. Now, at age 65, I think about the future, about who I have been and who I will be. I feel that I have lived many identities…woman, mother, partner, psychotherapist, teacher, colorist, designer, freedom lover, daughter, sister, polyamorist etc. But who am I […] Read more “Beyond Identity: Identity and Aging”

Estimated: 3 minutes to read

What’s On Your Playlist?

I have to admit, I am slightly obsessed by music.  I love how music can be used to set a mood, to punctuate an emotion.  My music collection spans all genre’s and many eras.  One of my favorite things is to put my iPod on “Shuffle” and listen to the diversity of music.  Sometimes a […] Read more “What’s On Your Playlist?”

Estimated: 2 minutes to read

More on Am I Polyamorous or am I Not?

In the last post I started speaking about identity…something I have thought about quite a bit. I’d like to tell you a bit about myself and my struggle with my own polyamorous identity. As I mentioned previously, I have been in a polyamorous relationship for close to 30 years. Naturally, prior to finding out about […] Read more “More on Am I Polyamorous or am I Not?”

Estimated: 2 minutes to read

Am I Polyamorous?

“Polyamory is an identification that mirrors LGBTQ identification in the sense that it is not something I can control, squash, or stop. I did not make a decision to do this. It is not something that I can stop.” That’s what Helen said when I interviewed her for a research project in 2011. For her, and many […] Read more “Am I Polyamorous?”

Estimated: 3 minutes to read

Polyamory — Many Loves

Welcome! I am so happy to have the opportunity to talk with you about polyamory. It is my hope that we will be able to discuss not only ideas, but our experiences too, and maybe even some difficulties we may be facing in our lives. I would love to talk with you and explore many […] Read more “Polyamory — Many Loves”