Eli Sheff is a leading expert on polyamory and has conducted groundbreaking research on polyamorous families with children. In the past, she has contributed her findings to the LifeWorks blog. This summer, Eli is traveling the country for her Practical NonMonogamy workshop tour, which is bringing her here to Chicago. On Saturday July 7, 2018,
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Eli Sheff is considered a leading expert when it comes to polyamory and stigma. Eli is the CEO and Director of Legal Services at the Sheff Consulting Group, a think-tank of experts specializing in diverse subcultures and under-served populations. The following is an article she wrote for Psychology Today about polyphobia and discrimination. Prejudice is making judgements about
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Affairs can surface in a long-term relationship. Can healing occur when the affairs have been covert, repeated and ongoing? Several years ago a couple, Peter and Sherri (not their real names), a married, het/cisgender couple, came to see me. They had been married for approximately 25 years. As are my usual questions when I first
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Jo Flannery, AMFT, MA Sexology, is one of four therapists to join LifeWorks this year through the Greenhouse, our postgraduate psychotherapy training and mentoring program. The Greenhouse provides new clinicians with opportunities to develop their identities as therapists, deepen their skills and unique strengths, and expand their cultural competence through hands-on experience and educational modules.Click
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by Cindy Trawinski, Psy.D., Dipl. PW & Rami Henrich, LCSW, Dipl. PW “I can’t believe I’m here… again.” Some people returning to therapy for the second, third, or fifth time often wonder “why do I need to go back to therapy?” “was there something I should have handled the last time around?” “maybe I am
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The following is an excerpt from a recently published article by Rami Henrich, that can be found in Elizabeth Sheff’s book, Stories from the Polycule: Real Life in Polyamorous Families. The first of its kind, this anthology collects stories and essays written by and about real people living in “polycules”: the networks between people in
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We are pleased to announce that our friend and associate, sociologist and researcher, Dr. Elisabeth Sheff has just published her newest book, Stories from the Polycule: Real Life in Polyamorous Families. The first of its kind, this anthology collects stories and essays written by and about real people living in “polycules”: the networks between people in polyamorous
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by Cindy Trawinski, Psy.D. & Rami Henrich, LCSW Bias influences all of us — even therapists. In fact, one 2011 study indicates that as many as 50% of clients identifying as polyamorous had seen therapists that they felt lacked cultural competency or were biased. Meanwhile, a 2006 study by Drs. Keely Kolmes, Wendy Stock, and
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“Otherness, taken seriously, always invites transformation, calling us not only to new facts and theories and values but also to new ways of living our lives – and that is the most daunting threat of all.” Today, I came across this quote about the quintessential dilemma that difference and diversity pose, from sociologist and renowned
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So often in my practice I hear complaints about differing levels of libido in partners. One partner has more interest and desire than the other. What to do? I have to say that frequently I don’t have the answer. That is, I think to myself, “Ok, you want to have a lot of sex and you don’t. I guess
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Last weekend, I attended the 35th Annual Meeting of AFTA (American Family Therapy Academy), in Chicago. The conference, entitled “Coupling Today: Love, Parenting, Community,” included many excellent presentations and opportunities to learn from colleagues. I was pleased and surprised to find the topic of non-monogamy well-represented in the Saturday plenary, Monogamy & Nonmonogamy: Commitments, Variations
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On Saturday, March 30, the Chicago Polyamory Support Group met. Into its 4th year, the group has welcomed hundreds of people through its doors. Being an open support group, anyone can come at any time. Each month a topic is selected and each time the discussion flows — both on and off topic as the
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What is marginalization? Have I ever been marginalized? And, how would I know if I had been? Do you often feel different from others? Like you don’t quite fit in? While some feelings of not fitting in may be related to your personal psychology, some of these feelings can come from the world around you.
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A topic that rears its head from time to time in many polyamorous relationships, and monogamous ones as well, is the issue of trust and betrayal. It seems that most of us have experienced betrayal at some time in our lives…could have been a parent who didn’t keep their word to do something promised, or a friend
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In the last post I started speaking about identity…something I have thought about quite a bit. I’d like to tell you a bit about myself and my struggle with my own polyamorous identity. As I mentioned previously, I have been in a poly relationship for close to 30 years. Naturally, prior to finding out about
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“Polyamory is an identification that mirrors LGBTQ identification in the sense that it is not something I can control, squash, or stop. I did not make a decision to do this. It is not something that I can stop.” That’s what Helen said when I interviewed her for a research project in 2011. For her, and many
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Welcome! I am so happy to have the opportunity to talk with you about polyamory. It is my hope that we will be able to discuss not only ideas, but our experiences too, and maybe even some difficulties we may be facing in our lives. I would love to talk with you and explore many
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