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Eli Sheff is a leading expert on polyamory and has conducted groundbreaking research on polyamorous families with children. In the past, she has contributed her findings to the LifeWorks blog. This summer, Eli is traveling the country for her Practical NonMonogamy workshop tour, which is bringing her here to Chicago. On Saturday July 7, 2018, […] Read more “An Interview With Elisabeth Sheff, Ph.D., CASA, CSE”
Category: Polyamory/CNM
Polyphobia: Anti-Polyamorous Prejudice and Discrimination
Eli Sheff is considered a leading expert when it comes to polyamory and stigma. Eli is the CEO and Director of Legal Services at the Sheff Consulting Group, a think-tank of experts specializing in diverse subcultures and under-served populations. The following is an article she wrote for Psychology Today about polyphobia and discrimination. Prejudice is making judgements about […] Read more “Polyphobia: Anti-Polyamorous Prejudice and Discrimination”
Children in Polyamorous Families, Part 4
In this fourth part of the series on children in polyamorous families I offer a sneak peek into my preliminary findings from my ongoing research on poly families with kids. Read more “Children in Polyamorous Families, Part 4”
Children in Polyamorous Families Part 3
This is the third in a series of blogs on children in polyamorous families. The first looked at the age dependent experiences of children in polyamorous families and why they appear to be doing so well, and the second detailed the advantages and disadvantages these children identified in poly family life. Third in the series, this blog explains four strategies these kids use to deal with the disadvantages found in poly family life, including blending in, being careful who they told about their families, avoiding the issue completely, and negotiating with parents. Read more “Children in Polyamorous Families Part 3”
The Conflict with Conflict in Polyam Relationships
Ever had conflict? Most people have had more conflict than they care to recall. Conflict is important to everyone and every relationship but when you are in a multi-partnered relationship good conflict skills become even more critical. On May 6, 2017, Rami Henrich, LCSW and I presented a workshop on applying the principle of deep […] Read more “The Conflict with Conflict in Polyam Relationships”
Healing from Affairs — Cheating is not Polyamory
Affairs can surface in a long-term relationship. Can healing occur when the affairs have been covert, repeated and ongoing? Several years ago a couple, Peter and Sherri (not their real names), a married, het/cisgender couple, came to see me. They had been married for approximately 25 years. As are my usual questions when I first […] Read more “Healing from Affairs — Cheating is not Polyamory”
Returning to Therapy — A Profound Act of Self-care
by Cindy Trawinski, Psy.D., Dipl. PW & Rami Henrich, LCSW, Dipl. PW “I can’t believe I’m here… again.” Some people returning to therapy for the second, third, or fifth time often wonder “why do I need to go back to therapy?” “was there something I should have handled the last time around?” “maybe I am […] Read more “Returning to Therapy — A Profound Act of Self-care”
The Long Haul
The following is an excerpt from a recently published article by Rami Henrich, that can be found in Elizabeth Sheff’s book, Stories from the Polycule: Real Life in Polyamorous Families. The first of its kind, this anthology collects stories and essays written by and about real people living in “polycules”: the networks between people in […] Read more “The Long Haul”
A New Polyamory Book: Stories from the Polycule
We are pleased to announce that our friend and associate, sociologist and researcher, Dr. Elisabeth Sheff has just published her newest book, Stories from the Polycule: Real Life in Polyamorous Families. The first of its kind, this anthology collects stories and essays written by and about real people living in “polycules”: the networks between people in polyamorous […] Read more “A New Polyamory Book: Stories from the Polycule”
Therapist Bias
by Cindy Trawinski, Psy.D. & Rami Henrich, LCSW Bias influences all of us — even therapists. In fact, one 2011 study indicates that as many as 50% of clients identifying as polyamorous had seen therapists that they felt lacked cultural competency or were biased. Meanwhile, a 2006 study by Drs. Keely Kolmes, Wendy Stock, and […] Read more “Therapist Bias”
Meeting Difference – Our Conflict with Contact
“Otherness, taken seriously, always invites transformation, calling us not only to new facts and theories and values but also to new ways of living our lives – and that is the most daunting threat of all.” Today, I came across this quote about the quintessential dilemma that difference and diversity pose, from sociologist and renowned […] Read more “Meeting Difference – Our Conflict with Contact”
Sex…How Much is Enough?
So often in my practice I hear complaints about differing levels of libido in partners. One partner has more interest and desire than the other. What to do? I have to say that frequently I don’t have the answer. That is, I think to myself, “Ok, you want to have a lot of sex and you don’t. I guess […] Read more “Sex…How Much is Enough?”
Expanding the Boundaries: Polyamory & Non-traditional Family Forms
Last weekend, I attended the 35th Annual Meeting of AFTA (American Family Therapy Academy), in Chicago. The conference, entitled “Coupling Today: Love, Parenting, Community,” included many excellent presentations and opportunities to learn from colleagues. I was pleased and surprised to find the topic of non-monogamy well-represented in the Saturday plenary, Monogamy & Nonmonogamy: Commitments, Variations […] Read more “Expanding the Boundaries: Polyamory & Non-traditional Family Forms”
Longing for Belonging
On Saturday, March 30, the Chicago Polyamory Support Group met. Into its 4th year, the group has welcomed hundreds of people through its doors. Being an open support group, anyone can come at any time. Each month a topic is selected and each time the discussion flows — both on and off topic as the […] Read more “Longing for Belonging”
Polyamory and Marginalization
What is marginalization? Have I ever been marginalized? And, how would I know if I had been? Do you often feel different from others? Like you don’t quite fit in? While some feelings of not fitting in may be related to your personal psychology, some of these feelings can come from the world around you. […] Read more “Polyamory and Marginalization”
Betrayal and Trust
A topic that rears its head from time to time in many polyamorous relationships, and monogamous ones as well, is the issue of trust and betrayal. It seems that most of us have experienced betrayal at some time in our lives…could have been a parent who didn’t keep their word to do something promised, or a friend […] Read more “Betrayal and Trust”
More on Am I Polyamorous or am I Not?
In the last post I started speaking about identity…something I have thought about quite a bit. I’d like to tell you a bit about myself and my struggle with my own polyamorous identity. As I mentioned previously, I have been in a polyamorous relationship for close to 30 years. Naturally, prior to finding out about […] Read more “More on Am I Polyamorous or am I Not?”
Am I Polyamorous?
“Polyamory is an identification that mirrors LGBTQ identification in the sense that it is not something I can control, squash, or stop. I did not make a decision to do this. It is not something that I can stop.” That’s what Helen said when I interviewed her for a research project in 2011. For her, and many […] Read more “Am I Polyamorous?”
Polyamory — Many Loves
Welcome! I am so happy to have the opportunity to talk with you about polyamory. It is my hope that we will be able to discuss not only ideas, but our experiences too, and maybe even some difficulties we may be facing in our lives. I would love to talk with you and explore many […] Read more “Polyamory — Many Loves”