As the winter holidays approach many find the frenzy of shopping and the endless quandaries about gift giving. This can get particularly complicated and stressful in polycules and their extended families.

Being open and honest are fundamental bedrocks of polyamorous relationships. But are you always open and honest?

Safety and Care in Polyamorous Relationships:
Do you feel safe and cared for in your poly relationship(s)? Do you make your partner(s) feel safe and cared for? Polyamory creates all sorts of unique challenges when it comes to safety and care.

Open Seat: From time to time we like to open the floor to whatever is on your mind, whatever you’d like to bring to the group. Sometimes when there is an open seat, a topic arises from the group. If your topic hasn’t been represented thus far, now might be the opportunity you’ve been waiting for. See you in September!

There is something deeply human in wanting to be seen and heard. Unfortunately for sex workers, stigma and questions of safety can make it hard to find spaces to openly share experiences and feelings. This August’s group is holding space to talk about our different experiences, sharing our stories and experiences with each other. This group will continue building on themes of validation, boundaries, and self-care.

Over the past dozen years or so I have encountered many folks who are trying their best to stay afloat on the often rocky boat of poly/mono relationships.

As in many relationships and professions, boundaries are an important and complicated issue in sex work. In our group in July, we will continue to explore boundaries with long term clients, how emotional labor plays into boundaries, and negotiating boundaries.

In last month’s poly support group there was a request to continue discussing the topic of sharing. I thought we might add shame to the conversation as it can be the painful result when things don’t go well.

Stigma around sex work can make it difficult for workers to know when and where it is safe to come out. This month we continue our discussion of how to navigate stigma and where it feels safe to be out. We will look at how people navigate stigma, with partners, family, and institutions, reflecting on how this relates to overall themes of stress, community, and self care.

Often over the years of practicing as a psychotherapist I’ve heard a lament about “sharing” one’s partner with another person(s). The source of much consternation, pain, worry and sometimes even joy! this topic surfaces frequently. When my children were little, I did not encourage them to share their stuff. My belief was that if they had something long enough, like a toy, a stuffed animal etc., they’d be more apt to share it when they’d had it for as long as they’d wanted it. Sometimes they did, other times not. Does this idea map on to human relationships?

As we come up on 1 year since SESTA/FOSTA was signed into law, the April Sex Worker Support Group will continue our discussion of the ways laws, policing, and social perception impact sex workers. We will reflect on safety and self care, while discussing how sex workers have adapted to legal changes and challenges. **As a reminder, there are 5 Mondays in April this year, meaning the group will be meeting on 4/29, the 5th and last Monday of the month.**

I just watched a documentary regarding stress and its impact on our well being. The executive producer, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, is a neurosurgeon and medical contributor for CNN. According to the documentary, empirical evidence points to the importance of social contact and community to well being. Perhaps in May, in addition to discussing our difficulties, we can also reflect on how polyamory enriches us and our connections to others, our sense of belonging, and well-being.

As we come up on 1 year since SESTA/FOSTA was signed into law, the April Sex Worker Support Group will continue our discussion of the ways laws, policing, and social perception impact sex workers. We will reflect on safety and self care, while discussing how sex workers have adapted to legal changes and challenges. **As a reminder, there are 5 Mondays in April this year, meaning the group will be meeting on 4/29, the 5th and last Monday of the month.**

For some of us the hi dream of polyamory is filled with multiple loving relationships, the potential for extended family, joy and fulfillment. On the other side is the lo dream where this potential is wrought with intense jealousy, feelings of being left out, isolation, and the fear and/or the reality of being replaced by new emotional attachments.

Both here in Chicago and beyond, sex workers face unique challenges with shifting laws, policies, and policing. At our March meeting we will discuss work in the context of police and social control.

For some of us the hi dream of polyamory is filled with multiple loving relationships, the potential for extended family, joy and fulfillment. On the other side is the lo dream where this potential is wrought with intense jealousy, feelings of being left out, isolation, and the fear and/or the reality of being replaced by new emotional attachments.

Self care is an important practice for anyone trying to set up a sustainable work-life balance. The emotional labor and social stigma of sex work, among other challenges, make a regular self care practice all the more important for sex workers.

Toward the end of the January poly support group, several folks spoke of, and were in touch with the pain of negative messages that they’d received as children by church leaders, by family, by community. The reverberation of these early life messages may persist as internal expectations, barriers, beliefs and self-criticisms we currently tell ourselves. In our February session, we take time to think about, explore, and share experiences of significant messages that you’ve internalized about self, sexuality, relationships.

During this support group we will take the time to focus on self reflection through the process of journaling. This practice can improve stress coping and reduce anxiety. For those who want journals, we have some donated by the Chicago Books for Women in Prison which we will give out.