ORLANDO SHOOTING JUNE 11, 2016
When I think Orlando, I think of sun filled days, blue skies, parents and grandparents offering up days of fun and excitement, showering their children with the time of their lives at Disney World. But from yesterday on, I will think of Orlando in a different way. I will think of the shadows. I will think of the mom whose son is still unaccounted for.
A night of death and life threatening injuries, of never ending pain and grief for the survivors of the tragedy that ended the lives of so many gay brothers, sisters, children, partners, and spouses has displaced those sunnier Orlando thoughts.
Today, the shock of yesterday’s news is sinking in. When I awoke this morning I set out on my daily routine…meditate, shower, stretch, walk…but this a.m. I couldn’t get it done. My hour walk turned into a ten minute stroll, only enough for Herbie, my dog, to relieve himself. My legs were too heavy, my heart and mind pounding with sadness and grief and outrage.
On my walk, I thought about my work as a therapist, my commitment to working with anyone who experiences themselves as marginalized, and I felt deflated and defeated. On the one hand, it makes sense to me that as more freedom comes forward (including marriage equality and trans advocacy), the other side (hatred, intolerance and limiters of freedom) will surface with vehemence. On the other hand, why would anyone want to kill another? That has never made sense to me.
Today I grieve with us all…those of us who knew someone at that club, those of us who knew someone who knew someone, all of us who are gay, who are related to someone who is gay, and all those who have fought for freedom. And I grieve for those who hate, whose hearts have hardened and are unable to see or feel the commonality of being human.
Lastly I grieve for the shooter, for the family of the shooter and those who knew him.
So many broken hearts. My heart is with yours.