A person gently holds a yellow flower in open hands
March Topic

Hinged or Unhinged?

March 2, 2024 10:00am to 12:00pm CST

I still remember the first time I sat between two partners who loved me. It was an intense and joyous experience filled with so much healing. I remember thinking to myself, “Wow, this is how life should be! This is how I was meant to be!”

While having multiple partners has brought great joy into my life, I can easily admit that it has also brought great pain as well. I quickly found that being in the role of the “hinge” (the person between two partners) had many challenges that I was not well-equipped for.  I often wondered, how do I make everyone happy?? (spoiler alert: you can’t).

Being the hinge often requires navigating many areas of difficulty: time spent/scheduling, communication of information, conflicting needs/boundaries. Does this sound familiar? How have you dealt with being the hinge and managing expectations? What joys has it brought you? What struggles have you faced?

Partners of hinges have special challenges as well and sometimes want to support their hinge partner to navigate the many pulls and pushes. What is your experience? What are the common pitfalls of a hinge from your perspective? What are the things hinges do that work and what have seen that doesn’t? What do you wish your hinge would do?

Let’s discuss!