When Relationships Fall Apart


This article was written by Lisa Blair, M.A. and David Bedrick, J.D., who are both Certified Process Work Diplomats. It first appeared here and is reposted with permission.  Every relationship has two handshakes: one above the table and one below. The first handshake is a conscious agreement between the two people, saying “We’re going to support each

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Meet Cassandra Damm, LCSW

Cassandra Damm, LCSW, is a graduate of Loyola University with a passion for working with those who identify as LGBTQ, as well as those who are in the kink, polyamory/consensual non-monogamy and sex work communities. She is also a board member of Sex Workers Outreach Project (SWOP) – Chicago and runs the Sex Worker Support Group as a partnership co-sponsored by SWOP and Lifeworks.

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Elemental Human Experiences — Getting in Touch

Still river and trees

Feeling divorced from the world or alienated from neighbors who are all around us are common complaints. It’s nothing new. People have lamented the rush of modern life at least since the Industrial Revolution pulled them to factory work. When reliable electric lighting became pervasive we began losing our connection to the natural rhythms of

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Posted in Nature

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Welcoming The 2018 Greenhouse Therapists  

Greenhouse logo

LifeWorks is proud to announce the newest Greenhouse cohort. Please join us in welcoming four new therapists to our team, and read on to learn more about Thomas Bateman, MSMFT; Marissa Faustini, MA; Benjamin Marton, LSW; and Courtney Wilson, MSW. The Greenhouse is a postgraduate psychotherapy training and mentorship program developed and sponsored by LifeWorks. The program

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Discovering One’s Own Individuality

Blue orange with orange inside

Miguel Serrano, a Chilean diplomat and writer, developed a friendship with both Jung and Herman Hesse. Serrano met with Jung a few months before his death in 1961, and their conversations are published in the book CG Jung Speaking:   Serrano: I’ve also come to see Herman Hesse. He believes that the right road is simply

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Queer, Poly, Kinky, Single? Alternative Valentine’s Day Ideas

rainbow heart

Navigating Valentine’s Day can be tricky, especially if you’re single, or if your relationship falls outside the margins of heteronormative monogamy. As the 14th approaches, you might feel like you can’t escape ads selling jewelry by reinforcing the gender binary or promotions trying to push pricey dinner dates for two. But, even as you feel

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Posted in Relationship

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Meet Adaora Aguoji, MSMFT

Adaora Aguoji, MSMFT, is a graduate of the Family Institute at Northwestern University with a passion for working with diverse populations including varied race, ethnicity, sexuality and gender. Join us in welcoming her to LifeWorks Psychotherapy Center! LifeWorks: What drew you to LifeWorks? On a cosmic level, I am sure this is where I’m supposed to be. Though, if

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Posted in Lifeworks, Psychotherapy Articles

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Low Libido Blues: Desire Discrepancy in Intimate Relationship

Couple holding hands

Michelle Herzog is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Sex Therapist based out of Chicago. She is the owner of the Center for Mindful Living, a private practice specializing in relationship and sex therapy. We are delighted to share her post on desire discrepancy and communication.  One of the most common sexual issues couples

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Polar Bear Nature

Polar bear with nose in air

This morning, just like every other morning, I was out walking. But this morning it was a frigid 5 degrees, a temperature I long for all year. I know, for some, this is absolutely crazy! But for me, nothing makes me feel more, alive, more vital,  one with nature. I absolutely love the feeling of

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Embracing the Unexpected

Mandala with symbols of people and animals

“Nothing but unexpected things kept happening to me. Much might have been different if I myself had been different. But it was as it had to be; for all came about because I am as I am. . . .  I am astonished, disappointed, pleased with myself. I am distressed, depressed, rapturous. I am all these things at once,

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Winter Solstice: Knowing Yourself Through The Night

winter solstice

Happy Winter Solstice everyone! This centuries old celebration is one of the most meaningful days of the year to me. Ever since I was a small child, the inky nights of winter held a certain kind of spooky magic that enthralled me. Starting with the Fall Equinox, our literal time in light begins to decrease,

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Polyphobia: Anti-Polyamorous Prejudice and Discrimination

group overlooking sea at sunset

Eli Sheff is considered a leading expert when it comes to polyamory and stigma. Eli is the CEO and Director of Legal Services at the Sheff Consulting Group, a think-tank of experts specializing in diverse subcultures and under-served populations. The following is an article she wrote for Psychology Today about polyphobia and discrimination.  Prejudice is making judgements about

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Navigating the Relationship Journey

couple celebrating on mountain

Santiago Delboy is a colleague and friend to LifeWorks who brings insight and thoughtfulness to his work and collaboration. We are pleased to share some of his writing. This post appears in Santiago Delboy’s blog, which can be found here. Just to state the obvious, relationships are not easy. While we are “wired” to be in relationships and they

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When We Go Inside Ourselves And Stay — Finding Still Center

tree branches, snow, and winter lake

Lisa Marks is a colleague and Process Work Diplomat who spends half her year in the Pacific Northwest and half the year in the upper Midwest. Where ever she is, she is strongly aligned with the environment and natural world — both within and without. We are pleased to re-post this essay at this time of

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Children in Polyamorous Families Part 5

Drawing of family

This fifth and final blog in the series on children in polyamorous families focuses on custody. The first looked at age-dependent experiences and why the kids are in such great shape, and the second detailed some of the advantages and disadvantages in poly family life. Third in the series came poly families’ strategies for dealing

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Posted in Lifeworks

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Domestic Violence: Power and Rank Dynamics

people walking through train station

I practiced family law for 10 years, some 20 years ago now, taking on several domestic violence cases. The police would be called to a house because a man had physically beaten a woman. By the time the police got there, he had released his anger freely, privately; publicly, he presented as calm and rational. The woman, being less powerful, was less free to fight back and express her anger privately; feeling safer once the police had arrived, she was now free to express her terror, anger, and viewpoint.

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How to React After Accidentally Misgendering Someone

sketched figures facing one another

This article was originally published in 2014 through the Q Center in Portland, OR. We are delighted to share it with you. Being misgendered can create an uncomfortable, embarrassing and even unsafe situation for many trans* individuals. There’s no doubt that when working toward creating or contributing to safer, more accessible spaces and services for

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Fluidity and Growth

abstract image, blue fluid movement

My aim is to bring about a psychic state in which my patient begins to experiment with his [or her] own nature, as a state of fluidity, change or growth where nothing is eternally fixed, or hopelessly petrified.” What an interesting approach: experimenting with one’s own nature.  I think most of us would consider our

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