My One Problem

My One Problem

arch reflected in water

It is always foolish to oversimplify complex problems. Nonetheless from the viewpoint of the Dreaming, regardless of the complexity of your life, you can have only one problem – ignoring the Dreaming background to reality. Ignoring the Dreaming means marginalizing the deepest unformulated experiences that create your actions in everyday life. Every time you ignore

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Domestic Violence: Power and Rank Dynamics

people walking through train station

I practiced family law for 10 years, some 20 years ago now, taking on several domestic violence cases. The police would be called to a house because a man had physically beaten a woman. By the time the police got there, he had released his anger freely, privately; publicly, he presented as calm and rational. The woman, being less powerful, was less free to fight back and express her anger privately; feeling safer once the police had arrived, she was now free to express her terror, anger, and viewpoint.

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Loving Bravely – Book Review

Loving Bravely by Alexandra H. Solomon, Ph.D.

Clients are often interested in ways that they can do their own self-awareness and relationship work outside of their weekly hour of therapy. A great way to do this is by reading books that help you explore your inner experience and the relationships in your life.

With that in mind, I am really excited to share with you all a book that I had the pleasure to help create with it’s author Dr. Alexandra Solomon. The book is Loving Bravely: 20 Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want.

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How to Establish Sexual Values

Illustrated flower pot that reads, "Sexual Values"

This post was published by Sexology International, and can be found here. When it comes to sex and sexuality, everyone has an opinion. Some affix their ideas to a personal or political agenda; others use convenient generalizations to further less noble pursuits—to encourage people to buy pretty French lingerie or pricey sports cars, for example.

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Assertive Communication 101: Finding Your Assertive Voice

Woman Standing Strong

I am passionate about interpersonal boundaries, and in order to have good boundaries, you need to tell others about them!  Assertive communication is crucial to being able to set, clarify, and defend your boundaries and their consequences in relationships.  I’m also motivated to write due to how many times I talk about this topic in therapy

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What Basson’s Sexual Response Cycle Teaches Us About Sexuality

Basson's model of sexual motivation

The following article has been adapted from “Taking a Closer Look at Basson’s Model of the Sexual Response Cycle,” Jo Flannery’s article for Sexology International. It has been edited from its original format. To read the original article, click here. There is no one reason people choose to have sex. Rather, human beings become aroused

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How to Create Fulfilling Relationships After Experiences of Abuse

hanging heart in window

We are pleased to share this article by our friend and colleague, Niyati Evers, MAPW, and diplomate in Process Work. Niyati is a sex-positive therapist with Alchemy of Eros, a Portland, Oregon-based professional counseling services organization that seeks to create a welcoming, non-judgmental space where people can explore issues around relationships, intimacy, power, passion, desire,

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Anam Cara: Soul Lessons From Anxiety & Panic

man screaming while driving

There is a phrase in Gaelic, anam cara, which means “soul friend.” According to the Anam Cara Therapy Center in California, anam cara is: A teacher, companion or spiritual guide … where consciousness is dulled, distant or blind, its presence grows faint and vanishes. Therefore awareness which brings integration and healing, is one of the

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Interpersonal Boundaries: How Trauma Keeps Us Silent

daisy

What are personal boundaries? Personal boundaries are what separate us from other people and things and help us form a distinct identity. Boundaries help us protect ourselves. Boundaries help define what belongs to you and what belongs to someone else. Boundaries can define what is “ok” and what is “not ok.” Boundaries help others know

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The Distinction between Personal and Positional Power

Julie Diamond, Personal Power

Why is learning about “personal” versus “positional” power so important? That question is at the core of POWER: A USER’S GUIDE, the latest book by coach, facilitator, educator, and author Julie Diamond, Ph.D. As its title suggests, Power: A User’s Guide is a how-to manual for anybody—parent, boss, teacher, politician, social activist—for whom wielding authority

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Eating Meditations: A Practice of Equanimity, Gratitude and Blessing

salad bowl and toppings for mindful eating

Can mindfulness be useful for difficulties with food and eating habits?  Many think so. Here is an exercise I came across years ago that may help you slow down, name your experience, start to tune into your body and be thoughtful about how you nourish yourself. For this approach, at first, try using a small

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Dreaming Our Way Into the Future

dreamcatcher

At this time in our world, we may need the power to dream and the ability to understand one another’s dreams more than ever.  Our colleague, David Bedrick, J.D., Dipl. PW has been writing about dreams and other psychological and social issues for many years now.  In the blog below, originally published by Psychology Today, David

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Managing Fear After the Election

Hope with flowers

Managing fear has been difficult for many people in the days following the 2016 US Presidential Election.  No matter which candidate you supported, you may find yourself overwhelmed by distressing news reports, tense conversations with loved ones, and your own complicated feelings. LifeWorks is an explicitly inclusive therapy practice that welcomes all people. We know how

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Take Heart, Heroes

David Bowie graffiti

We vote with every moment, With every choice. With our attitudes we elect our reality and the world we yearn to share. We long for heroes to hold our hope and express our power, Our rage, our pain, our kindness, To make our struggle righteous, To champion our smallness. Yet, We are never larger than

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Winning the Battle with Inner Criticism

small men on shoulders, yelling in ears

An inner critic can be thought of as an aspect of ourselves that holds the criticisms, disapproval, injunctions and complaints  that we have internalized over time.  When our inner critic is active, we get low and feel “less than”.  Sometimes the voice of the inner critic is so convincing that we jump to the conclusion

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Power: A User’s Guide

Power: A User's Guide by Julie Diamond, PhD

We are excited and pleased to announce that our friend and colleague, Julie Diamond, Ph.D., has a new book out — Power: A User’s Guide. Power corrupts. The question is: how? What are the traps of power and how we can avoid falling into them? From bosses to parents, politicians to protesters, power rests in

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Knowing Yourself is Power

“Knowing yourself really well and deeply is the best power you can have.” Julie Diamond, Ph.D. is an executive coach and leadership consultant who helps individuals and organizations create cultures of learning and growth.  Julie’s upcoming book, Power: A User’s Guide, is due for publication early next year.

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Resolution and Surrender

White flag over snow

Two words keep coming to me lately: resolution and surrender. Of course, this is the time of year that many people make resolutions, so it’s not unusual to be thinking of that word. But as often as resolution came to mind, surrender seemed to follow right behind. These two words seem to be practically opposites:

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Power: Is There More in Me?

waterfall and moss

In her blog on leadership, my friend and colleague, Julie Diamond, poses this challenging set of questions for leaders: “Are you using your power fully, in the way you want to, to create the worlds you want to create? Are you using this opportunity to do amazing things, to be creative, to make your team

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